Let me start out with I love my mom. My mom is the most important woman in my life, she means the world to me and is my best friend.
BUT DEAR EVER LOVING WORLD, CALM DOWN ABOUT PLANNING MY WEDDING!
I've been engaged since April 3rd, and every time I talk to my mom she wants an update on what I have planned, what's going on, and the list goes on and on. Now I Googled “Wedding planning with family” and everything that popped up was all negative, avoid drama, how to deal with drama, and that's not the case. I'm my mom's only daughter, and the only daughter either one of my parents talk to on a regular basis. So, I know it's really important to her and I get it.
If this is your case, and you don't have family drama here are a few ways I've been dealing with it:
Don't be afraid to put your foot down
My mom was asking me about my guest list and who I'm inviting. She suggested inviting some family friends that have been around since I was born. It is a nice gesture, but my wedding is going to be small just family and a few friends right around 100 people. The venues I've been looking at are 100-150 capacity and I'm not interested in extending that, it's my big day.
If you want something a specific way, don't be afraid to say so. It's your wedding, don't lose track of that and just go through the motions to make everyone else happy. You and your fiance need to be happy, it's a day celebrating you both not how much money can be spent.
Let them know where you want their help
I want my parents, especially my mom there for me though the process. But with it being over a year till the big day, I want to enjoy being engaged. I want my mom to go dress shopping with me, I want her to have those moments with me. On the flip side, my fiance's mom wants to help out but doesn't want to overstep her bounds. So letting her know that I want her to be there and I want her help is equally as important.
Let them know you want them to be there. Plan a date that everyone is available, or just take your mom (or whoever it may be) out with you to window shop. Even if it's just sitting down for coffee and looking over options for different vendors.
Give them updates (and don't lie when they ask)
It's over a year till my big day, I don't want to go dress shopping yet (until I go back to the gym and lose a few pounds) But, I've talked to my mom about options of where I want to look, what places offer petite dresses and places I don't want to go. I've also informed her about locations I'm looking at, and that I've already booked my photographer (which was the most important part)
Don't be afraid to say, I haven't planned anything more since the last time you asked. Wedding planning takes time, and a lot of thinking and processing. Be proactive, and if they offer you help on getting information or sitting down and calculating numbers take it.
Delegate tasks so they feel more involved
Give them tasks such as looking up venues, or wedding dress boutiques in the area. If they want to contact them, that's awesome, if not at least a list for you is a starting point. Plus, it gives them something to do and feeling apart of the planning process.
There can be various reasons to why family members are too excited. Maybe they didn't get the chance or the special moments with their parents and they want them with you, or they just want the best for you. Either way, giving them the chance to participate in the planning process can bring you closer together and create memories that will last a lifetime. Sometimes it can be challenging and a bit overwhelming, but in the end it's about you and your fiance.